Hi everyone. Today Mary tell her story. "When I was a kid, my parents lived a poor life. We didn't have a house, or an apartment, so we huddled in dad's small trailer at his work. He was a forest ranger, and he got a mini-caravan in order to live at work. Mum had 2 jobs - she was a cleaner and a janitor... and, as you can get, her salary was too low.
You don’t even need any proof. So, they thought I was very cool. Most of the kids wanted to be friends with me. But they didn't like me before. I kept that in mind. And my stories got more and more unreal and interesting. For example, I could describe in detail our family trip to Paris for a weekend, or my birthday celebration in Disneyland. But everyone kept believing me. Some of them even envied.
Then... I went to school. And again – old, shabby clothes, the cheapest stationery, a tattered schoolbag... Children didn't want to let a beggar play their games again. But I knew how to get a reputation. Again I started to make up fables about my «extremely rich» parents. They just hid from some «evil people», and I can't show off. To my surprise, kids believed me again. And I kept on making up tales. Fortunately, we had a TV, and I could watch it. Well, I stole the main ideas about wealth from there.
It was wonderful with TV series. Now my thing is called rewriting, and at that time it was just a fiction version. So I turned travelling, stories about a chic life, TV series into my own life stories. I described the toys from the stores like my own. I even made up a story about my dad's expensive car which we used for a trip on our vacation. The thing was not to expose myself on trifles. So, my memory was really good for a 7-year-old kid. The best thing was that nobody could expose me. Well, maybe, adults knew the truth, but they didn't hurry to say anything because they felt sorry for me.
But it got more difficult in high school. Classmates began to claim the confirmation of my words... at least minimum. For example, we continue hiding from somebody and wearing brands that I can’t. But in reality, there are such small nuances -for example, a brand-new cell phone, expensive gadgets, or an expensive pencil or a pen. I didn't even have my ears pierced to show my golden earrings. But I was so accustomed to my part it got too late to get out of it.
I secretlywent to work to the other side of the city. I had the simplest work - handing out flyers in a life-size doll. Parents were happy. They thought their daughter decided to increase the family income, but… When I got my first bucks, I bought the most expensive bag. Almost a brand. After that... I decided to save money. Classmates left me alone for some time. They believed me again. So I needed to confirm my legend immediately.
My parents became suspicious and tried to dissuade me. They said that I needed to work honestly, that I can't earn all the money in the world, and it's better to save a penny now in order to get more out of it later. They also said… money is not the main thing in life, and it's stupid to buy brands in our situation. But I didn't care. At that time I sincerely considered that it's their fault - if you don't have enough money, don't give birth to a kid. I am thinking like this even now.
After grade 10 I got to a technical school. I didn't attend classes much - I didn't have any time. And, at last, I sighed with relief. I didn't realise how deep I got into the lie until I stopped cheating everyone around me. My desire to prove something to someone left me. I counted money which I spent on some trash and got upset. If I had saved money, I could have already bought myself a small apartment, and stopped living in the trailer with a toilet and 2 roommates.
I started saving money. I returned to my studies to get a few bonuses like scholarship and free accommodation. By the way, I fitted in, yeah. I don't really understand why I started to develop my legend again… about my wealthy life after having fun with my classmates. The story got back - I was working not for myself... but for buying expensive wear and going to restaurants. However, at home... behind the closed doors of my dorm, I was fighting with cockroaches and quarrelling with my roommates for using my pan. I wanted everything to stop.
I got into my own trap of lie. I'm sick and tired of living like this myself, and I understand that I'm doing nothing important and waste my life on trash, but I can't help it. It would be good to make an appointment with a psychologist someday, but I need money to pay for his services. I don't have it - I spend all my money on brands and cafés".
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